Expecting Martha, Getting Meghan
Is Meghan Markle's show that bad or are people just weird about her?
Meghan Markle’s Netflix show With Love, Meghan is out and the verdicts are in: people are not into it. Or at least, that’s what it looks like from most of the reviews proliferating online following the show’s debut last week. Some negative reviewers and commentators have accused the Duchess of Sussex of being “inauthentic” and “fake” while coming off as “pretentious,” which sounds like remarks about Markle’s perceived persona rather than the actual show. The British tabloids, of course, have been brutal. But as someone who watched all eight episodes of Meghan Markle’s show—and who actually doesn’t hate her—I think all this negativity around its airing says more about the public’s feelings about Markle than about the duchess herself. And I do think her fame has gotten to the point where any small thing can be turned into a huge “debacle” no matter how innocent.
If you haven’t checked out the show by now, With Love, Meghan is your typical lifestyle/homemaking show. The setup is simple: we watch the duchess make pretty things in a pretty setting with a guest (or guests) while she shares some easy tips on how to be your group chat’s hostess with the mostess. The visuals of the show are, of course, stunning—it’s shot on a lush property in Montecito, CA, with a beautiful kitchen, a gorgeous backyard, and a massive vegetable garden fit for, well, royalty. Every episode has an overarching main project with smaller homemaking DIYs in preparation for that. Sounds pretty run-of-the-mill, right? Wrong. How naive I was to expect a subdued reaction to this laid back show—or to anything Meghan Markle-related, for that matter.
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In an article classily titled ‘I Watched Meghan Markle’s New Netflix Show and Now I Need a Lobotomy,’ an editor at The Daily Beast muses how “muted” Markle is in the show (though he disclaims that he’s absolutely not a hater and compliments Markle’s “serene” celebrity persona) and takes offense when the duchess dresses up a Trader Joe’s snack as part of a welcome basket for an incoming guest: “On the one hand, I could watch Meghan take pretzels out of one bag and put them in another bag all day. On the other hand, I’m mystified how this is what I’m watching at all,” he writes. I think the implication is that Markle should be doing more, like she should’ve made *everything* in the basket from scratch. But I’m not sure why that would be necessary since that’s how you would normally assemble a gift basket—gather ready-made things that would make nice gifts and put them together cutely. Unless I’ve been doing it wrong this whole time?? Someone let me know! Believe it or not, that DB article is one of the nicer ones that have been written about the show.
Most irritatingly, though, is that I’ve seen repeat comparisons of what Meghan Markle is doing to Martha Stewart. No offense to the duchess and her homemaking skills, but that is like drawing comparisons between a student athlete and an Olympian—sure, they’re both doing the same sport but it’s obviously not the same league so comparing the two makes no sense. Unfortunately, I think people were expecting Meghan Markle to be some sort of homemaker extraordinaire (why, I’m not sure) and then got upset when it turned out that she’s more DIY Influencer Gal than Pioneer Woman. I bet a carton of eggs that her show’s team anticipated this, which is why the duchess seems to emphasize this fact over and over again throughout the show: no, she is not an expert on this stuff but she happens to like doing these kinds of things and she’s kind of good at it, so maybe let her show you how to do it.
Some mantras the duchess also repeats on the show include phrases like “It’s not about perfection” and “It’s so easy to do” which are more hints to what an ocean’s difference Meghan Markle and her show is to Martha Stewart, who has a whole staff helping her brainstorm her tutorials and whose lifestyle empire is all about doing the most and achieving perfection (if you aren’t familiar with Stewart or need a refresher on how she pioneered the lifestyle media genre, or if you just enjoy eccentric rich old women being brazen like I do, I recommend watching the Martha doc on Netflix!).
Anyway, you get the gist of how the reception to Meghan Markle’s show has mostly been. The only review that I think comes close to giving the show a fair trial is Hunter Harris’ substack Hung Up (which is also just generally fantastic, by the way) where the culture writer shares thoughts about Markle’s show with fellow substacker Allie Jones in a joint post titled ‘‘With Love, Meghan’ is A Show About Vessels’ (Again, there seems to be a recurring complaint that she is just moving things around to make them more aesthetic, which is not the entirety of the show and which I feel like makes up most of the lifestyle genre we see today). The two writers list some fair feedback points for improvement about Markle’s new venture, like the fact that she should have the products that are featured on the show ready for sale on her new brand website As Ever (I legitimately thought it was called Ever After at first, a missed opportunity IMO) but the products are unfortunately not sales-ready as of this writing. Meghan Markle’s team is certainly missing the moment to capitalize on all the hype as even her most ardent detractors always confess that they’d still buy whatever she’s selling (the DB editor, for example, wrote that he still wants to buy her jam). Mark my words, once her website is up and running, we’ll be seeing her trademarked edible flower sprinkles all over TikTok.
Harris and Jones also noted that Markle should do away with the incessant “this is so easy!” attitude and instead just lean into her Type A compulsions, which peek out in moments on the show. Most visibly, you can see it in her episode with Chef Roy Choi, who Markle is a big fan of and who she was quite clearly eager to impress. One commenter on the Hung Up substack described it as “teacher’s pet energy” and remarked that it was quite relatable and endearing, which I agree with. That episode is probably the show’s best because she seemed comfortable enough to slip into her natural disposition but also because the chemistry between her and Choi, who is the epitome of California chill, was fantastic. Also, crispy Korean-style fried chicken is involved.
Another thing that I think a lot of the critics haters of Meghan Markle’s show seem to miss is that not everyone watching these types of homemaking shows is necessarily good at that DIY stuff. Like, at all. I have a feeling that most viewers are okay with the fact that she’s not a master chef or Martha 2.0 in her knowledge or skills, though I honestly think she still knows way more than a lot of these folks who are criticizing her lack of ingenuity. But it’s so obvious in the way the show’s presented that if you already know how to salt-bathe a branzino at home—which is what Markle does with two of her friend-guests in one episode—you are not the target audience. This show isn’t for the girlies who are already making their own natural jam from scratch (or preserves, depending on the sugar-to-fruit ratio, as the duchess nerdily informs us) or those who know how to arrange a beautiful bouquet of fresh flowers and keep them alive for more than two days. This show is for people who can’t tell the difference between bachelor’s buttons versus sweet peas. It is for those who would never think to make ladybug sandwiches or organize chopped fruit in the shape of a rainbow, but still think those are fun ideas anyway. It’s for people who have never hosted more than two people at home (including theirselves) but are delulu enough to think they could totally do it if they wanted to. In other words, the show is for viewers like me.
At the end of the day, it’s much ado about a casual-viewing show that is perfect for when you need a break from getting accosted by terrible headlines—or not, that’s fine too if the show isn’t your thing. I just wish people were upfront about why they don’t like it when it’s more about how they feel about her than the show. I suspect a lot of these gremlins are also people who resent that Markle is self-admittedly not an expert in her field yet has her own show on Netflix. But listen, if we want to talk about merit-based rewards, the entertainment industry is the last place on earth for that. And besides, there are far more egregious examples I can think of other than a Black woman who married into royalty and became very rich and famous (while gaining a lot of trauma) and is now able to play out her dreams of being a lifestyle host on TV. It’s not hurting nobody so why are you bothered.
In any case, we’ll be seeing more of Meghan Markle’s Lifestyle Host Era since the duchess’ show was greenlit for a second season. Any thoughts on which celebrities would make good candidates as guest host? My gut is Drew Barrymore could maybe either be really good or really bad.
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If you want more writings about Britain’s royal family or you’re into nerdy history stuff, you can read this post from my old Substack, The P Word, where I break down the forces behind the monarchy’s enduring survival.
What I’m enjoying at the moment 🌊
At the very height of the pandemic, it seemed like everyone was either baking bread or playing Animal Crossing and I was doing the latter (though I have to admit I did do quite a bit of baking, but it wasn’t sourdough loaves lol). For some reason I’ve gotten back into playing Animal Crossing on our Nintendo Switch. Of course, there is nothing new to do in the game because the developers have not updated it in forever—and I don’t think they will anytime soon. So, I’ve been creating new things to do, like revamping the entire island that my husband and I created in the game. I even let one of our villagers move away—which I never did before—because I’m bored of the residents and want new characters living on the island.
It’s kind of strange to be getting deep into this game again because it’s just one of those sensory things that is forever linked to a specific memory in time for me: the pandemic lockdowns. But I think because this game was such a source of comfort in a time of crisis, I don’t necessarily associate it with the feelings of being in crisis, instead I associate it with the feelings of being comforted because that’s what this game did for me and millions of other people around the world.
Have you ever returned to something that used to bring you joy or comfort and felt a strange nostalgia? Or perhaps you’re also a fan of Animal Crossing who’s still into the game? I’d like to know!